Get Your Mojo Back During COVID-19

Recently, I did a podcast that was titled "Regaining Your Mojo Back during COVID 19” with friend Colleen Morgan, who made a profound statement “Life is uncertain; you have to take control of you.“ The statement resonated with me and stuck with me for the entire day and thereafter. I realized when she said it, that it was such a powerful statement at a time with uncertainty is all around particularly during a pandemic. This is unlike any other previous experience anywhere in the world other than places in Africa that suffered during the Ebola epidemic.  

It has been reported that alcoholic beverage sales have more than quadrupled and so has domestic violence and child abuse. I can only imagine how frightening it must be when you are isolated within the same confines of someone who is a bully and hostile with words or violent. The fear is great for anyone in this situation and greater for a child. A child who lives with an abusive adult, I only hope and pray that they can find solace through some form of escape mentally such as reading, going online through games, connecting to friends or talking with a reliable individual who has the means to help them get away from the abuser. As for the adult who is in a hostile situation, don’t simply accept the abuse. You have the ability to remove yourself or get help to escape the situation. This may be the time to make a move rather than to remain in a hurtful place. There can never be any light or joy by remaining. It’s scary to leave, but it’s painful to stay. However, where there is a crisis, there is an opportunity if we attempt to dig a little deeper to find the courage within. And when you precisely cannot, then seek someone who can help you. 

Meanwhile, there are many people such as myself who are single and therefore, alone but many of them are also extremely lonely. The danger of feeling isolated and alone can trigger anxiety, depression and soon the individual isolated finds that they themselves are their own worst enemy. Being alone we see that our mind begins playing tricks, and we find reasons to be lazy, watch too much television and may fall into overeating. You find yourself surfing the Internet. Desperate to meet and talk to someone; to any person of interest, you end up signing up on one of those dating sights and then later regret it.  

For individuals who are your worst enemy; you must avoid the traps and engage in activities to stimulate the mind and body and raise and maintain healthy energy levels. If you’ve reached that pivotal point and realize it is time to get your Mojo back- well this is a great opportunity if you just allow yourself to get over yourself.  

Here are a few tips to help you do that: 

1. Stop whining! Begin practicing positive affirmations. 
2. Meditate to silence the mind chatter. 
3. Spend 10 -20 minutes doing yoga in mornings  
4. Get your ass off the couch, start a project; engage a hobby. 
5. Have a set time to turn off electronics.  
6. Practice 10 -15 minutes of deep breathing before retiring to bed.  
7. Stop watching 24-hour COVID news. Take a walk instead. Read a book. 
8. Show gratitude and be grateful that you are vertical.  
9. Dance. Find a Youtube Zumba video and put on your happy feet! 
10. Just smile

Sometimes you have to ask yourself, "What would Shaq do?" So remember, take good care of yourself.

Ob·ses·sion /əbˈseSHən - When Too Much Is Unhealthy

Ob·ses·sion /əbˈseSHən/ Noun

Harry and Meghan of Sussex

- a persistent abnormally strong interest in or concern about someone or something.

  "Her consistent writings attacked the couple and were bordering on obsession"

- an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

Synonyms:  fixation, passion, mania 

What’s the hubbub about Meghan Markle Duchess of Sussex? Much of British media appears to empathize with Harry and villainize Meghan with vile attacks on everything from her clothing to her character. The attacks are extremely hostile and personal that go beyond poking attempts of gossip. The attacks have the overtones of racist individuals under the cloak of poor journalism.  

For centuries, the British society, her colonies and the Western world have always honored the United Kingdom and her great royalty with reverence and humility. In the 17 century, the emergence of the newspaper purpose not only provided news on local issues but also served governance through disseminating information that would be important to its citizens. In the twentieth century, the newspapers were mostly owned by wealthy barons similar to today’s mega media conglomerates. As common curiosity and intrigue is natural to human behavior, gossip drew more attention than the news thus the newspapers equally began reporting gossip that would more often be advantageous with political influence and opposition.  

In the twenty-first century, news has been taken over by tabloids and disseminated through social media of which is questionably fake. There is a fixation on gossip who provides entertainment. Too often there is little difference between printing a lie or the truth that has been twisted, muddy and muted into viral gossip via Twitter or Instagram where the power for further manipulation is held in the palm of the hand.  

The investment and stake in gossip about Meghan and exceeds the obsession to smear her character. There is a way to have a healthy obsession and then there is the unhealthy obsession that becomes a fixation detrimental to the mind and well-being of the one with the fixation. Such as racism, it is an unhealthy fixation. We're in a global society and we are all connected in more ways than ever. There are so many positive things to give attention too. How about getting your own life and leave Harry and Meghan to do them. More on Sister Love Podcast episode 23 http://sisterlove.thevibejuice.com/sister-love-untethered-and-under-the-radar/theres-sumpn-bout-mehgan-and-harry-sl023/.

MAKING A WAY FOR OUR STANDARDS OF BEAUTY

The Crown Act of California (SB188) bill passed in December 2019 that prohibits discrimination against persons with natural hair or hair styles based on texture.  It is the first law on the book in the nation to prevent discrimination against primarily African Americans who have struggled to gain social acceptance in school, the workplace and all across society based on skin color and hair.

The Crown Act is an acronym that translates to Create a Respectful and Open Workplace for Natural hair.  Don Imus Jr., a sometimes controversial radio show personality recently passed on Dec 27, 2019 sent shock waves over the radio in April 2007 when he called the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos" and "Jigaboos." Don Imus became because of the controversy was eventually fired eight days later resulting from unrelenting outside pressure.

WHY THE CROWN ACT IS NEEDED?
Fast Facts

• 2018 - New Jersey high school referee threaten teen to forfeit a match unless he cut dreads.
• 2019 - Mississippi station WJTV fired African American female news anchor for wearing unprofessional hair
• 2020 -Texas  two teens suspended; 16 yr old suspended and another sophomore told he will not graduate 
• 2020 -Chula Vista Catholic in a high school where the tuition costs $17,080, a male student suspended for being out of compliance for wearing braids.
• A Black women are 80% more likely to change her natural hair to meet social norms or expectations at work (Dove Study)
• Black women are 50% more likely to be sent home or know of a black woman sent home from the workplace because of her hair (Dove Study)
• 2020 - South Africa. Incident at an affluent school a young girl quotes, "I have a natural but the teacher told me to comb it because it looks like a birds nest."

What where you told coming up as a child about your hair? Where you told you were beautiful because of it or where you treated in a manner that taught you to be a shame because of it?
These are only a few reason why it is important to emphasize beauty in skin color and hair textures to reinforce acceptance for young and old to counter the European images as the only standards of beauty in the world. This is a happy day with the passing of the Crown Act. This is a day of 'happy to be nappy.'

Value in Paying Attention

Why aren’t people paying attention? 
If you have not noticed lately, but more people seem to not be paying attention. You may have become aware when driving on the road, witnessed an accident and been involved in a near miss, or perhaps placed an order to a customer service representative on the phone who didn’t hear you the first time and got your order incorrect sending you the wrong item. Our society on a whole is so distracted, and it looks like we are all suffering from chronic A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder).

Paying attention to the wrong issues. 
We are behaving like elementary school kids with a new toy obsessed with whatever is going on in our lives; reality television, electronic media, news feeds and division politics. We have become so distracted with a limited attention span, as though we’ve been spending our lives with a television remote in hand and surfing through life switching jobs and relationships like channels on cable television. America has a short memory. We forget in a matter of weeks about shocking crimes in the news. Our minds become altered, and we’ve adjusted to appalling and criminal behavior. We’ve become accustomed to crises such as terrorist acts on innocent people and mass shootings that our sensitivities have numbed with the shock and horror caused by such violence. However, like a child given a new toy, we have become distracted from reality and focused on escaping through our habits or the latest fad. While we barely struggle to maintain civility and respect, we have all but failed to develop muscles of resistance and easily distracted by preferred nonsense. Caught up in rude behavior, our grade for performance is an F.

Too broke to pay attention.
Don’t be so poor that you can’t pay attention. The value in paying attention is under-rated. The attention you give is the attention you deserve. It saves time, money and can save lives.   Listen to Power of Paying Attention on Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast

Don't Mess With My Toot Toot

Dedicated to Chef Leah Chase Jan 6,1923 - June 1, 2019

Remember Michele Obama? Of course, we remember. It's been three entire years since the Michele Obama served as the country's First Lady and since the county was under leadership of dignity Barak Obama, the former first family and occupants of the White House. Happy to say that they are far from out of the scene and just as relevant today. Consider they (the trolls) would go after the lovely Mrs. Michele Obama, then why not Meghan? Take Michele's Obama's savvy shade when they go low, you go high (and then dooky-dip them). Michele was the master of dooky-dipping even when the trolls weren't aware.

Let's begin with Serena Williams. Apparently, fake news stretches far. After her defeat with twenty-year-old Sofia Kenin, Serena was to be interviewed behind the courts in rooms set up for media. Dominic Thiem was being interviewed in a larger room and was interrupted by Serena's organizers to take over the room. However, it was not reported that Serena requested the smaller room. Nonetheless, the media blew the incident up as Serena behaving like the typical 'diva' that she is. Not so, according to John McEnroe, former number one ranking (1983) with seventy-three titles tennis diva. It was the sports media writers who were throwing shade on Serena. McEnroe, the alleged 'Tennis Commissioner' and humorous commentator states in his vlog that Serena was not a diva after all, but the victim of demanding organizers.  

Meghan Markel is a former actress with a seven-year role on the series Suits, once a featured hostess/model on the game show 'Deal or No Deal', is one of few persons who can say that they've had fairytate come true. She married a real Prince and became the Duchess of Sussex. The once proclaimed feminist who dismissed Trump, claiming she would 'leave move to Canada if Trump became president,' the United States and landed a Prince. Becoming an official duchess or princess does not stop the haters. Would the same critics go after Meghan if it had not been for her fifty-percent African blood? Unlikely. Meghan has done little to provoke the public other than to marry a prince and come from mixed parents. In 2016, she was a guest on the Larry Willmore show, when she voiced her sentiments about Donald Trump who was campaigning for presidency. Meghan's comments were made long before she met Prince Harry.  

Who cares about the low or high trolls. When you are winning, don't let anyone bring down your spirits. Keep flying high and give 'em a 'toot-toot!'.  Enjoy because you are still winning!  

Grandmothers are Sheros

It was during a recording session for the Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast with friends and guests Lena Robinson and Contessa Bunn,  when the topic of our grandmothers came up.   Contessa had shared she recently lost her grandmother, the late Willie Mae Ball (April 8, 1929 - December 30, 2019).   She shared fond memories of her 'Big Momma' who was one of nine children born in Pine Bluff, Arkansas and later as an adult lived in Oakland, California.  Contessa told us how her Big Mamma worked many years in janitorial services and how she was a strong and proud woman yet a devout Christian who always saw fit to help the less fortunate.

During the "She-Rise She Rose - Sheros" segment that honors a sung or unsung hero,  Lena announces that her grandmother Lena May after whom she was named,  is her Shero.  I in turn was compelled to call out my grandmother's name Chandler "Babe" Harrell affectionately known as Ma'Dear  who was also a wonderful mother, sister, grand and great grandmother.  We all recalled special gifts like their cooking or special dishes like macaroni and cheese or ham, collard greens, cornbread dressing and  the desserts like sweet potato pie and bread pudding.   More fondly are the memories of antidotal sayings about the "peoples ways" and even their temperment or scoldings. 
In that moment, we all were present and felt the power of honoring these special women.

Grandmothers are the pillars and their predecessors where pillars and so on.  Time goes by however, in hindsight we realize how much we take the wonderful and dearest things for granted.  All grandmothers are special and dear.  A chiropractor I once worked for once said, "I buy my mother flowers every month since she told me give me my flowers while I'm living."
This is an early Mother's Day honor to all grandmothers and mothers who are the Sheros.
Listen to Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar.  With Love.    Song B.

Happy 2019: Your Health Is Your Wealth

"There are persons so radiant, so genial, so knd, so pleasure-bearing, that you instinctively feel in their presence  that they do you good, whose coming into a room is like the bringing of a lamp there." Henry Ward Beacher on friendship

It's a new year - 2019. It's a choice to begin with routinely make new resolutions. Best resolutions are made when preceded by clear and honest reflection about the past year, searching beyond the memory folds are dirty particles of memory lodged in the crevices and deep in the cut. Review of the year typically occurs in December when I am alone as often, I can pass my time by numbing with a game of Soda Crush, or I can be a responsible and accountable adult by closing out my year by being productive and dumping mental garbage. I chose the latter which brings the year to close with the revelation that people are just disappointing. My resolve is to distance myself from the vulnerability of being disappointed, or needing others to bring a sense of fulfillment from a detached recognition of a void. I loudly conclude with the visualization of Cher's character in Moonstruck with a slap to the face, "Snap out of it already." You're uniquely talented, even if the important people like agents and talent scouts don't know it - yet. Just do you. Do what you know and get busy writing, creating, take action and make it happen.

January begins with an accepted invitation and welcome conversation with a dear and distant friend Colleen Morgan, who resides across the pond in the UK. I missed our ethereal idealistic philosophical conversations about life and men and the world from a somewhat feminist perspective and with a great deal of hope.

It is a pleasure to have Colleen share her revelations on the past year's reflection after treading through bouts of stress, worry, which ultimately leads to illness. Through the challenges which suck come the best lessons in life; and for Colleen, the greatest lesson of 2018 was confirmation: 'Your Health is Your Wealth.'  

HEALTH AND WELLNESS TIPS FOR 2019
Colleen speaks of the virtues of being your own guardian with diligent care, protection and balance of the mental, spiritual, physical and emotional self. The conversation is relevant to my thoughts and review of my 2018 and previous experiences. It doesn't serve us by becoming a creature of bad habits when rising above the b**s**t means developing good habits.  

1.   Send them with love.
Avoid self-enabling with excuses to drown in disappointment with first creating distance from toxic persons and disappointment.

2.  Focus on 'Happy Hormones.'
It is too easy to fall into bad routines rather than exercise new mental and physical muscles by forcing you to learn new routines.  It takes about three to six months to develop new habits. The benefit is creating 'happy hormones' that act like a net when your emotions begin to fall.

3.  Never give up.
When things suck in the moment, I remind myself 'never give up.' I take action in the moment by looking up, raise my hands to the sky and shout 'yea - yes- life is awesome.

' Listen to the Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast episode 7, 'Your Health Is Your Wealth.'
Happy New Year.