Saturday, July 27, 2019

Value in Paying Attention

Why aren’t people paying attention? 
If you have not noticed lately, but more people seem to not be paying attention. You may have become aware when driving on the road, witnessed an accident and been involved in a near miss, or perhaps placed an order to a customer service representative on the phone who didn’t hear you the first time and got your order incorrect sending you the wrong item. Our society on a whole is so distracted, and it looks like we are all suffering from chronic A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder).

Paying attention to the wrong issues. 
We are behaving like elementary school kids with a new toy obsessed with whatever is going on in our lives; reality television, electronic media, news feeds and division politics. We have become so distracted with a limited attention span, as though we’ve been spending our lives with a television remote in hand and surfing through life switching jobs and relationships like channels on cable television. America has a short memory. We forget in a matter of weeks about shocking crimes in the news. Our minds become altered, and we’ve adjusted to appalling and criminal behavior. We’ve become accustomed to crises such as terrorist acts on innocent people and mass shootings that our sensitivities have numbed with the shock and horror caused by such violence. However, like a child given a new toy, we have become distracted from reality and focused on escaping through our habits or the latest fad. While we barely struggle to maintain civility and respect, we have all but failed to develop muscles of resistance and easily distracted by preferred nonsense. Caught up in rude behavior, our grade for performance is an F.

Too broke to pay attention.
Don’t be so poor that you can’t pay attention. The value in paying attention is under-rated. The attention you give is the attention you deserve. It saves time, money and can save lives.   Listen to Power of Paying Attention on Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Don't Mess With My Toot Toot

Dedicated to Chef Leah Chase Jan 6,1923 - June 1, 2019


Remember Michele Obama? Of course, we remember. It's been three entire years since the Michele Obama served as the country's First Lady and since the county was under leadership of dignity Barak Obama, the former first family and occupants of the White House. Happy to say that they are far from out of the scene and just as relevant today. Consider they (the trolls) would go after the lovely Mrs. Michele Obama, then why not Meghan? Take Michele's Obama's savvy shade when they go low, you go high (and then dooky-dip them). Michele was the master of dooky-dipping even when the trolls weren't aware.


Let's begin with Serena Williams. Apparently, fake news stretches far. After her defeat with twenty-year-old Sofia Kenin, Serena was to be interviewed behind the courts in rooms set up for media. Dominic Thiem was being interviewed in a larger room and was interrupted by Serena's organizers to take over the room. However, it was not reported that Serena requested the smaller room. Nonetheless, the media blew the incident up as Serena behaving like the typical 'diva' that she is. Not so, according to John McEnroe, former number one ranking (1983) with seventy-three titles tennis diva. It was the sports media writers who were throwing shade on Serena. McEnroe, the alleged 'Tennis Commissioner' and humorous commentator states in his vlog that Serena was not a diva after all, but the victim of demanding organizers.  

Meghan Markel is a former actress with a seven-year role on the series Suits, once a featured hostess/model on the game show 'Deal or No Deal', is one of few persons who can say that they've had fairytate come true. She married a real Prince and became the Duchess of Sussex. The once proclaimed feminist who dismissed Trump, claiming she would 'leave move to Canada if Trump became president,' the United States and landed a Prince. Becoming an official duchess or princess does not stop the haters. Would the same critics go after Meghan if it had not been for her fifty-percent African blood? Unlikely. Meghan has done little to provoke the public other than to marry a prince and come from mixed parents. In 2016, she was a guest on the Larry Willmore show, when she voiced her sentiments about Donald Trump who was campaigning for presidency. Meghan's comments were made long before she met Prince Harry.  
Who cares about the low or high trolls. When you are winning, don't let anyone bring down your spirits. Keep flying high and give 'em a 'toot-toot!'.  Enjoy because you are still winning!  

Monday, February 11, 2019

Grandmothers are Sheros


It was during a recording session for the Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast with friends and guests Lena Robinson and Contessa Bunn,  when the topic of our grandmothers came up.   Contessa had shared she recently lost her grandmother, the late Willie Mae Ball (April 8, 1929 - December 30, 2019).   She shared fond memories of her 'Big Momma' who was one of nine children born in Pine Bluff, Arkansas and later as an adult lived in Oakland, California.  Contessa told us how her Big Mamma worked many years in janitorial services and how she was a strong and proud woman yet a devout Christian who always saw fit to help the less fortunate.

During the "She-Rise She Rose - Sheros" segment that honors a sung or unsung hero,  Lena announces that her grandmother Lena May after whom she was named,  is her Shero.  I in turn was compelled to call out my grandmother's name Chandler "Babe" Harrell affectionately known as Ma'Dear  who was also a wonderful mother, sister, grand and great grandmother.  We all recalled special gifts like their cooking or special dishes like macaroni and cheese or ham, collard greens, cornbread dressing and  the desserts like sweet potato pie and bread pudding.   More fondly are the memories of antidotal sayings about the "peoples ways" and even their temperment or scoldings. 
In that moment, we all were present and felt the power of honoring these special women.

Grandmothers are the pillars and their predecessors where pillars and so on.  Time goes by however, in hindsight we realize how much we take the wonderful and dearest things for granted.  All grandmothers are special and dear.  A chiropractor I once worked for once said, "I buy my mother flowers every month since she told me give me my flowers while I'm living."
This is an early Mother's Day honor to all grandmothers and mothers who are the Sheros.
Listen to Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar.  With Love.    Song B.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Happy 2019: Your Health Is Your Wealth

"There are persons so radiant, so genial, so knd, so pleasure-bearing, that you instinctively feel in their presence  that they do you good, whose coming into a room is like the bringing of a lamp there." Henry Ward Beacher on friendship

It's a new year - 2019. It's a choice to begin with routinely make new resolutions. Best resolutions are made when preceded by clear and honest reflection about the past year, searching beyond the memory folds are dirty particles of memory lodged in the crevices and deep in the cut. Review of the year typically occurs in December when I am alone as often, I can pass my time by numbing with a game of Soda Crush, or I can be a responsible and accountable adult by closing out my year by being productive and dumping mental garbage. I chose the latter which brings the year to close with the revelation that people are just disappointing. My resolve is to distance myself from the vulnerability of being disappointed, or needing others to bring a sense of fulfillment from a detached recognition of a void. I loudly conclude with the visualization of Cher's character in Moonstruck with a slap to the face, "Snap out of it already." You're uniquely talented, even if the important people like agents and talent scouts don't know it - yet. Just do you. Do what you know and get busy writing, creating, take action and make it happen.

January begins with an accepted invitation and welcome conversation with a dear and distant friend Colleen Morgan, who resides across the pond in the UK. I missed our ethereal idealistic philosophical conversations about life and men and the world from a somewhat feminist perspective and with a great deal of hope.

It is a pleasure to have Colleen share her revelations on the past year's reflection after treading through bouts of stress, worry, which ultimately leads to illness. Through the challenges which suck come the best lessons in life; and for Colleen, the greatest lesson of 2018 was confirmation: 'Your Health is Your Wealth.'  

HEALTH AND WELLNESS TIPS FOR 2019
Colleen speaks of the virtues of being your own guardian with diligent care, protection and balance of the mental, spiritual, physical and emotional self. The conversation is relevant to my thoughts and review of my 2018 and previous experiences. It doesn't serve us by becoming a creature of bad habits when rising above the b**s**t means developing good habits.  

1.   Send them with love.
Avoid self-enabling with excuses to drown in disappointment with first creating distance from toxic persons and disappointment.

2.  Focus on 'Happy Hormones.'
It is too easy to fall into bad routines rather than exercise new mental and physical muscles by forcing you to learn new routines.  It takes about three to six months to develop new habits. The benefit is creating 'happy hormones' that act like a net when your emotions begin to fall.

3.  Never give up.
When things suck in the moment, I remind myself 'never give up.' I take action in the moment by looking up, raise my hands to the sky and shout 'yea - yes- life is awesome.

' Listen to the Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar podcast episode 7, 'Your Health Is Your Wealth.'
Happy New Year.

 

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Never Losing Faith, Hazel J Says, "Girl, Wear Your Big Hat"

Hazel J Author

"The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them." Ida B. Wells.

In December, I had a visit by a genuine and lovely lady, Hazel Jay also known as Lady J.   It has been almost seven years since I last saw Hazel who attended one of my entrepreneur training workshops over twelve weeks in 2012.   Hazel is a poet, educator and recent author of 'Girl, Wear Your Big Hat.'  I invited her to join  me on the Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar Podcast to talk about her social entrepreneur endeavors and promote her new book.   She has become a member of the SEX-C BABE - Sister Extraordinaire Circle of Black and Brown and Extraordinary women!  The episode is titled 'Faith in Steps: One Foot In Front Of The Other,' because Hazel gives her testimony about her faith walk and  how God's blessings continues to carry her. 
A single mother of four, Hazel struggled to complete graduate school at Mills College in Oakland, California.  She states that it was very challenging and with the challenge came the revelation that she had a learning disorder.  Initially discouraged,  Hazel did not give up.  She persevered with hard work and determination to work through her disability and obtained a Masters Degree in business. Following her triumph, came many lows and several bumps and bruises with new lessons.  Through the tough times came the vision for her venture IGLOW; which stands for "I am Golden, Legendary, Original and Wondrous."   The IGLOW project provides transformational development and coaching specific to single mothers and entire families.  

In the podcast segment The Woke Ancestor,  Hazel's motivational female is Ida B. Wells, American Journalist, Civil Rights Activists and one of the founders of National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAAC)).   Listen to this inspirational conversation and hear what was Hazel's recent activity in the Pursuit of Happiness.   She is completing a children's book titled 'A Through Z Inventors Who Look Like Me.'  Click on 'Girl, Wear Your Big Hat' to purchase the book and to read more about the author and her book.

Hazel is also one of twelve contributing authors in the book 'Real Talk: Intimate Discussions on Love, Life and Relationships and the author of her latest book leaned on the blessings coming her way. 

Listen to Podcast Hazel J. on Sister Love: Untethered and Under the Radar

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Surviving Health Care is a Joke!

"Sorry, we can't find your records."
How are you surviving this week?  I truly hope your week is going wonderful, marvelous, and stupendous but then, life happens! The last few weeks in American has been possibly the most extremely violent in history outside of social riots and the Civil War. The number of guns in the hands of terrorist, mentally ill, hate-filled persons cannot be tracked. It's too late. In the last couple of weeks I became acutely 'woke' this week about the state of mental and overall health in America.
Warning: We are a society that is increasingly heading towards subliminal desensitization to human trauma. Compassion is diminishing in mind,-body health, spirit and in self-awareness; which, and therefore feeds into Peripheral Neuropathologies.
 
As a advanced society, we are advancing toward rapid decline of mental health and stability. The slow and systemic cloud aggressively promotes and enables our daily addictions. Masses of citizens use addiction to suppress feelings of dissatisfaction, anger, unhappiness, and traumatic pass experiences. What has happened to the quality of healthcare in America in the last twenty years?
In almost two years, since Trump became president he has made deliberate attempts to eliminate the Affordable Care Act also known as Obama Care, we have seen a care providers removed from the plan and a diminishing quality in the deliverance of health care. And are we doing about it?

My experience over the past year has been a nightmare with three different health providers, enough to make me loopy! In fact, it's got to be a joke. Here are a few punchlines.

  • Why should Trump be worried about Democrats when in 2016, he's convinced most health providers drop Obama Care so that only Health Scare will kill off the remaining population.
  • What do you call a medical facility that scoffs and broadly herds patients like a tobacco chewing cowboy at a round-up?     General Hock-spittle.
  • What do you call a miserably inadequate physician who resents working in the hood and spitefully promotes death care instead of health care?   Dr. Kill Ova-Dere.
  • What do you call it when an anglo doctor rudely does't not listen and treats all black patients with the same implicit bias?  -  Blindspotting.
  • What do you call a doctor at a ghetto clinic?   A  Nurse Practitioner. 
Healthcare in America deserves criticism.  The quality and services is as poor as the communities served or if your in a higher income facility, the doctors have difficulty hearing you as a person of color. It's supposed to be healthcare but feels more like HEALTHSCARE, then it's HEALTH-KILL instead of promoting wellness you are receive Medical DIS-EASE.  

Why do people take positions, spend a life studying for a profession that they are 100% happy or fulfilled?  Why go into healthcare and not care? Why work in a community where you don’t respect, scoff or look down on the people.   People don’t want high and mighty self-proclaimed persons (liberal nor conservative) to come into a LMI community and glorify themselves because, look at Peggy or Courtney who is such a great humanitarian because they work in the hood.  ” You are not doing the community any favors with this attitude unless you see them as human equals.

There was a time when a healthcare practitioner gave 110% care to clients and people in the community.   You rarely see that high level of practice today. Doctors are not healers; we’ve practically lost healers.  Healers traditionally were persons of high regard. Healers like former Dr. Sebi, of Honduras (herbalist and healer) who practiced healing through cell foods; and fighting cancer, diabetes, lymphatic conditions and  weight loss, primarily through vegan and alkaline diet.

At times we may feel hopeless, but we don't have to be victims of Health Kill facilities, programs or providers. We must start with ourselves.
  1. We must take measures to be good; better to ourselves.  
  2. Don’t be discouraged and don't let those in the medical profession discourage you. 
  3. Stay away from people attempt to discourage you with their negative energy.  
  4. Take time to eat healthy, massage your mind with good books, music, and meditations.
  5. Change physicians until you feel safe and confident. 
Good news is there is a rise of conscious health awareness and new community healers as the ways of our ancestors who are reviving and improving old with modern practices and teachings of today.  

If you feel your privacy has been violated or compromised, file a complaint with the Office for Civil Rights (OCR). Remember, failure to comply with HIPAA or breach regulations can result in substantial fines being issued to the violator and criminal charges and civil action may ensue such as lawsuits.   Be good to yourself.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

What's It All About, Alfie?


I've been stressing myself out with bad habits of doing too much of everything. Pressured by my upbringing that I cannot fail at being self-dependent. Self-dependency is something you learn early in life. Fortunate are those bastards who are born with the gift of a legacy tool-box; which includes cars, real estate and perhaps cash that can all be traded in for the latest iPhone, MacBook,  Yacht dinner cruises and parties with friends in penthouses an Chateaus. Well, that ain't me. At times, I envy the highly favored trustees who can (and when they choose) flaunt their entitlements before the rest of us proletariats.

A Latch-key-kid, is a more befitting term that describes my adolescence years and life with my brother six-years older. While our single mom worked two jobs, I was busy being bullied and tormented by my older brother until I reached junior high, and he was finally gone out of the house. I had to learn self-dependency. Home-made burgers and tacos during the week and rewarded with the occasional steak. I learned to be mom, protector; care giver and how to lock away emotions; not always a good thing.

However, I am finding as an adult that self-dependency is like an old habit that is difficult to shake loose. Too much of a good thing is ultimately bad for you. At some point, you need to retire, relax, lay low, release. Thinking this out has even made me tired. I've always ended up in jobs just to make money, to pay rent, pay off college debt and to pay a mortgage. These are all anchor weights in life. At some point, you realize that they only provide a tentative sense of safety, comfort and stability, but not real security.

Instead of being a jack of many trades or a miserable labor of one; why not decide to hell with everything else for the money and do the one gratifying thing that brings happiness. It may not make money, but perhaps its worth sticking it out for the heart of it. After all, what's it all about -Alfie?