Happy Birthday To Me: A Pathology

Every year-around mid of February, weeks after all the hustle and bustle of the holidays and new year festivities have gone, I begin having birthday anxiety that lasts over the next several months through May. It's a silly pathology triggered by childhood memories.  When in high school, It seemed that all the other parents made arrangements to showcase a sweet sixteen party. These were extravaganzas to showcase beloved spoiled daughters a full day to star in a dedicated spotlight of preemptive adulthood. Not I.  The pressure of not having a coming out party haunted me thereafter.

It was my twenty-second birthday, and a year had gone by that I realized I missed out on another special celebration to mark reaching the legal age of twenty-one. Anxiety began again. My fear was that this was the beginning trend of horrors in not ever having a grand celebration. The anxiety went away for seven years and returned when I turned twenty-nine and since repeats every ten years. 

What's so 'happy' about birthdays anyway?  It is simply a redundant statement thrown onto a card with multiple colors of ink, thousands' stamped and pressed after killing a tree and all this to say, 'Happy Birthday?'  Not all birthdays are so happy; there are those you remember and some you want to forget. Age 3 and 93, the celebration is not for you but for the adults needing an excuse to party.  Everything in between is a roller coaster of highs and lows.     

The term is a trillion-dollar business, and that has certainly made someone happy or just filthy rich. But why can't the adjective be something else other than 'happy' like merry or joyful; fluffy or funky; gay, artsy or fartsy?  Why does 'happy' have to describe a birthday when a happiness is subjective, or is it?  I’m surprised Kris Jenner or Kim has not attempted to copyright the phrase.  Some people just have to have everything!

  

Another year of fantasizing about the big celebration and still no surprise party for me, not even a mini celebration.  And as I do every year, I will be content with a few, cheap and free acknowledges through social media and the ones that come in an envelope on the remnants of multi-colored dead trees, and I can count on one hand.   At least, someone bothered to buy a stamp.   Now that I am done with toiling and ranting over what makes birthdays so happy I cannot complain with yet another year, and that is reason enough to be happy.  Besides, I'm not trying to draw attention to growing older.  By the way, to those who sent me a happy birthday greeting - thank you very much.   Anyway, Happy Birthday to me.

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Awakening Your Truth

"Truth is powerful and it prevails"- Sojouner Truth 

Sunday morning the phone rings. I pick up the phone, and on the other end is a dear friend who called to say that she was thinking of me. It was the day after the Women’s March. We talked about who attended and shared our excuses for not attending. We both agreed that the March was important to show a collective stand. However, we both had exchanged our deeper analysis of social conditions in America and why we each stayed away which may have left us with feeling some sort of guilt.  

After ending this conversation her words resonated with me, “Just stand in your own truth.” This statement repeated in my thoughts as began to process the many interpretations of its meaning that applied to my life. The most relevant and important interpretation was the truth in this moment. The reality of my truth became evident; which I have avoided by the many convenient distractions as afforded by modern technology. My excuses are common to most; coming home tired from working every day, watching drama and reality TV to help numb out my own reality, or becoming ill and simply doing nothing because I need to ‘recover’ are only excuses to avoid my truth.  

I had been feeling a bit annoyed and angry about a relationship that never failed to disappoint when my sister-friends’ words gave me light.  There are many difficult relations, close and distant with persons perhaps at the job, a neighbor, local or national politicians, family members, or persons with a few degrees of separation that are broken and in states of dysfunction that may never be repaired.   But we don’t have to remain a victim of those relations in absent of respectability; nor do we have to remain a victim of our own thinking.    Know that we can immediately free the mind when we shift our attention on our own truth; which cannot be one steeped in bitterness of the past nor of any present condition that is temporary. 

Don’t get caught off guard because bull-crap is all around and will cause distraction from any place at any time.  Here are a three way to help gain focus and channel positive energy towards living your truth.

1.  Begin first with stepping away from toxic people and environments that keep you engage with day-to-day distractions.  This only serves in keeping the mind reactive and sedated in anger.  It is ineffective, un-empowering and unhealthy.
2.  Meditate and not medicate.  Find your own truth through quiet soul searching. Identify what brings you joy perhaps through a talent or activity.  There are things you can focus on daily that make life gratifying and help to manifest peace. 
3. Be deliberate about a purpose.  Allow yourself to have a purpose in life and don’t generalize it.  Do not simply state ‘my purpose in life is to just be happy,’ rather, challenge yourself to be specific.

These three things helped to alleviate psychological burdens. You can choose to support a cause and be a part of collective change from a distant; or you can choose not to participate. If your soul and conscience are not at ease, then it is at dis-ease and you need to find your truth about the matter.

Your truth can quickly and easily fade in the background of other people’s b**s** and sometimes self-imposed. That is not to say that general movements are not legitimate causes.  There are times when we need to put aside our personal issues and stand for something greater. However, when the individual voice has been muted by superficial surroundings, anger and resentment cultivates. When we are ready to stop blaming others, or look for excuses and reason to be mad; we can take responsibility for our personal self-worth, happiness and achievements that require discipline and dedication.

The only importance is to live in your individual truth. Once you can stand in your own truth, only then you can stand for others. I am confident that outcome will be life gratifying and fulfilling. 

This is awakening your truth.

Sonja 'Song Bee' Brooks

A Resolution For Happiness

Happy New Year!  And what's so happy about it? Ask yourself, is true happiness based on past circumstances when things were once a certain way?  Or is happiness based on hope that lies in the future, and always beyond the reach of today?  Happiness is a gem that is hidden in the promise of right now.

What are some of the resolutions you announced before the world and shared with everyone?  What about the one you said to yourself,"This year such n'such is going to happen for me"?  Millions of people wait for change to happen months and years down life's road rather than to initiate it, while the other million formalize their resolutions for change every new year; which, somehow is supposed to make it 'official.'  Oh really?  

Did you know that 68% of Americans make conscious resolutions at the beginning of every year to change,  stop, to start, get rid of, or acquire something that they don't already have?   Americans possibly rank highest among the most discontented in the western hemisphere.  By mid-year, 44% will stick to the end goal and year end just 8% will achieve it.  Often when we want to change something, it is an external condition that is displeasing such as your surroundings or an outer appearance.    An alternative method and far more effective way to begin experiencing immediate change is to approach it from within.

Change occurs when we actively shift our perception.   Accessible to all is the ability within our being to unleash the power to manifest happiness by taping the inner focal point of our being.  The trigger to releasing positive energies will absolutely influence the outcome.  Training the mind how to overcome vulnerable states of emotions and quickly shift from disappointment to acceptance; anger to calmness or sadness to gladness becomes easier through practice.  We can experience life through a range of observations that are simplistic to amazing.   So why not say to yourself now, 'this is the day that such n'such happens for me' and state only the absolute intention.

Don't allow yourself to become caught up in a consumer fog,  in the clever marketing of 'change' brands.  Nor let yourself fall into the trappings of subliminal commercialization that suggests continuous spending on things that are temporary is the only way to attain happiness.  The ultimate change begins from within, and that's where you will find true happiness.

Happy New Year!

by Sonja B