You don't need a reason to be happy just a choice. It's a beautiful world, enjoy it. Dream. Explore. Discover.
Contributor: Nanna Abban "Reflections of Adinkra."
I walked down to the mailbox in front of my building and saw my neighbor walking her two dogs. She seems like a nice single lady who apparently felt that her one-bedroom unit could use some company other than a boy or perhaps a girlfriend, so she adopted two rescue dogs. I commend her for doing it. The dogs previous situation was a bit of a nightmare.
Anyway, the dogs look like a mix of a few things but mostly coca-poodle. They’re a bit doofey, and one has a crossed eye. They’re over excited whenever she attempts to walk them; they seemed so excited about going for a walk yet confused about which way to go until the leash into a twisted braid. While I was checking the mail box, the neighbor walked up with her mutts. As soon as I turned away toward the mailbox, Grrrr-aaach! One bite! The little bitch bit me! I event heard it. The nerve of that mutt! I guess they knew I had talked about them to everyone behind their tails for being loony dogs and decided to bark me a thing a two. Guess they showed me!The day didn’t stop there, my land line went dead; the very very new cell phone Samsung Edge would not open because it did not recognize my thumbprint! (Go figure). Worse yet, I had not created a back-up password. I was locked out of my computer because my house guest decides attempting using my computer by bypassing the password and it locked. I couldn’t even remember the password. Then the printer stopped working after I purchased new ink cartridge and tried to replace it. This day, I needed to turn around and go back to bed for a few hours to rid my head ache and try this all over again. It will be better tomorrow!
by Redd Sonja
There are seven stages of grief; shock, denial, anger, guilt, sorrow and depression, reflection and re-engaging life; much of what I went through when I got fired or the day my doctor told me I was pre-menopausal. I felt like life was over and I had not experienced the basic human accomplishments like raise a few rug rats, watch them fail and succeed; kick them out and watch them come back. But each one of us has our own grief cycles (menopause being one of them) and when we experience tragedy the healing process begins.
September 11th is a time to honor a loved one lost in the tragedy and for the world to pay honors. Yearly or monthly activities that honor the memory of those that departed will help ease away sadness and allow joy to enter again. In 2013 after losing my dad to Alzheimer, the same year I raised money through the Walk to End Alzheimer. Although the 4 mile walk in the dead heat in Walnut Creek that I ended up so exhausted that I almost forgot where I parked my car. But, I got through it and felt tremendous for getting involved with a good cause with great people and for walking in honor my dad's name.
The stages of grief are not the same for everyone. The processes are much the same; however the required time that it takes to move through the healing processes will vary. Healing advances quickly when we dancing, clapping or engage in gratifying activities like an outstanding orgasm of the mouth after eating our favorite dish or when interacting with others to uplift the spirit. (Gotcha!)
To celebrate is to lift the spirit, sadness and lament is heavy and low. Never allow grief to keep you stuck in loneliness and sorrow. It is perfectly okay to embrace grief. We should embrace it when it is our time to grieve. Allow time to grieve and lament and look forward to power in the light of love, laughter and gratitude.
No one ever wants to think about death and dying, but is there any happy way to look at loss? When western cultures deal with the subject of death, it is typically associated with an abundance of mourning and sorrow; sadness, emptiness with days and months of darkness and depression. These are the things that weigh heavily on the all aspects of life and draws from the source of life energy to it's lowest depths. Often, sadness experienced is not about the individual but rather it is about us. If we live life unselfishly and free of guilt rather than reflect on the relationship we had or lacked with the individual, the more we will desire to celebrate their life rather than become overly occupied with sorrow.
Notice (unapologetic) that attorney comes under category one. Not to knock the profession, I do like some attorneys and there are times when they rate higher on the scale depending on the side of the fence you are on. Nonetheless, surely everyone has a few other descriptions and professions that can be added to the metaphysically-correct word energy association.
The Dyer life experience (the dire pun here displays humor power of intention) left the world with so many quotes of wisdom to live by such as "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." It’s always our choice on how we view life and death and all the experiences in between.
Wayne Dyer, was a phenomenal speaker and teacher entered into the dimension of the human experience through birth as Wayne Dyer an impoverished orphaned child who transformed his human experience into one of love and happiness through actualizing his life purpose; and later transitioned from this dimension of the human experience as spiritual self-help guru into an even higher dimension leaving the legacy of his teachings and his spiritual essence.Thank you for the gifts you left the world. – Redd Sonja
Most people of color and women who often represent a minority are aware of hidden and some not-so hidden biases that is prevalent in the workplace based on salaries, promotions, wage increases and treatment from day-to-day. No matter how bad it gets, there is never an excuse for violence in the workplace. A bad working environment doesn’t excuse rage or violence in the home, in theatres, churches or anywhere in civilian life. So what if people had careers that were intentionally destroyed by certain group of mean egotistical individuals accustomed to privileges and entitlements who may smugly flaunt their special privileges to taunt or bully their victims; violence isn’t an answer. The truth is that it happens all of the time, but seldom become news until it is made public by filing a huge lawsuit or the outcome of an horrific aftermath from the sole action of an individual as in the case of August 26 when a professionally trained and frustrated journalist wrote a three page manifesto and last words followed by murder and suicide.
America has a long history of intolerance and the workplace can become a powder keg where the dominant social culture has less tolerance for others i.e.;the opposite sex, race, gender, sexual preference or ethnicity. There is such a condition known as repetitive psychological stress syndrome has possibilities of escalating into an explosive situation if not recognized. The danger of workplace violence increases when matters go unaddressed and ultimately the targets may be innocent parties in retaliation. The August 26, 2015 incident that left three people dead including the gunman and one person seriously injured, there are no winners. There are alternative methods in seeking vindication and retribution other than violence.Alternative Approaches to Snapping
Individuals sometimes are unaware of the causes and triggers for anger. If we can recognize the triggers and use another plans of action rather than seek revenge we can circumvent explosive outcomes that may lead to losing a job or getting arrested. Why not use the antagonistic approach exemplified by Univision reporter Jorge Ramos when he interrupted Donald Trump’s press conference. Ramos’s bombardment of pointed questions was a challenge to Trump’s character and competency to run for president of the United States. Needless to point out that Ramos methodology sent Mr. Trump well over the moon.
We may have visions of carrying out actions like the characters played by Dolly Parton and Lilly Tomlin in the movie 9 to 5, but there are alternatives to snapping like taking out rage with pen and paper. Create a rap about the work place, write a poem and perform open mike, even create a stress relief meditation group at work. You can start an art stress relief group or draw pictures of co-workers or the bullying boss as an over-sized gluttonous gorilla wearing suspender, spats, and a bow tie with a cigar in his mouth (I actually did it hung in my cubicle for months at my last job, which gave me plenty of entertainment). Try joining a writing group tell your story, perhaps submit to a newspaper or as an opt-ed about the issues in the workplace. Your story can help others seek out resolutions in a therapeutic way. Start a meet-up group and call it Jane and John DOEs for Dissed-Off Employees for humor. Have a big piñata filled with suckers and jaw breakers or soft squeezable stress balls for everyone. Arrange a discussion group to allow people to vent confidentially offers a harm-free alternative solution that will help obtain peace of mind. Be sure to have hold harmless agreements and signed disclosures for your attendees.
The reality is that most of us have experienced something in our past that may irritate a nerve when the memory is triggered. Companies across the US certainly can do a better job with providing objective resources to diffuse internal conflict within departments among staffing. The company should utilize multiple conflict resolution resources for workers. Rather than leave it up to individuals to sort out their own issue can be a silent time bomb. More integration of team building activities is recommended that is not all directed towards productivity, but focused on social exchange to build trust and reduce possible xenophobia that may exist in the cultural work environment. An active Ombudsman program who may serve as an excellent resource is recommended to reduce differences and personal conflicts.
Discrimination is epic and to widely unchallenged from age to race and gender. There’s too much room for ambiguities that go on in the workplace and that slip through the cracks that run deeper that the San Andreas fault. But until the cracks are repaired and companies do their part to address internal issues, it is best for individuals to find alternative methods to handle that stress. It is better to just cool out have a coke and a smile. And if your employer is Coke, I hope they pay and treat you with respect and according to merits of your character and not by the curl in your hair or the size of your waist. Just remember that laughter is best for distressing and healing wounds and that success is the sweetest revenge and the best way to the bank.
The saying goes that tragedy + life = comedy. In 2013, life dealt me several low blows. So many other people I knew, I too went through enclave of economic hardships heightened by a series of losses. It had been years of struggle with legal issues; trying to save a home, familial disputes, employment disputes, legal counsel hearings, and divorce. At times, the world appears to have little sympathy in the hardship and loss of others.
After surviving through 2012 and not quote one month into 2013, the next difficult crisis on my plate was the death of my father and an untimely job termination; which circumvented taking time off with pay protected under FMLA. .
The emotional and financial tolls were overwhelming. It took another year for me to remove myself from states of anger and feeling vengeful. Insomnia was frequent; I suffered from mental and spiritual exhaustion. Nightmares about the employer were often occurrences which continued two years after leaving. Soon, I realized that I had been suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome from the trauma that loomed in my subconscious and haunted my sleep. For the eight years I worked I had not been in great health and it needed some improving. I knew that I could not continue in this state. It was time for me to find my voice; my true self and get back to being myself. In the past eight years of work, marriage, the debt, and in the life struggles I lost myself and needed to find my voice again.
My ah-hah moment occurred one morning after waking up from a nightmare that led me to log my dreams in a journal. The words began with sarcasm soon turned into humor and pursing comedy struck me. Why not? My choice was between comedy and the psychiatrist's couch. Been there and done that. The psychiatric couch may be satisfactory for others, but was not an alternative for me. The only alternative after you’ve reach middle-age sometimes is to rediscover yourself and take yourself outside of the comfort zones you've come accustomed. Too often we think we are limited specific designs of comfort, but easy to slip into mediocrity and that does not always bring happiness
The time arrived for to re-invent myself and push the envelope and step out of the comfort zone; and humor was my answer for sanity; which prompted me to launch the H3(Cubed) project: Humor, Health and Happiness. I invite you to come along this journey. Get some laughs, and share a few experiences, thoughts or comments. Join me for a slice of humor pie with H Cubed - for Life.